The Donald Trump Final Four and 17 other intriguing scenarios
The Sweet 16 begins Thursday night in Louisville and Anaheim. Over the next four days there will be 12 games to eliminate 12 teams, leaving us with the ultimate goal in college basketball: The Final Four. Before play begins, we thought we'd look at some of the best possible Final Four scenarios, based on a number of criteria, some stat-based, some history-based and some based in love for cheesy 90s sitcoms like "Quantum Leap". Each of these potential Final Fours could actually happen (meaning each features one team from the South, West, East and Midwest - no cheating). Which one would you like to see?
1. No. 1 Final Four: Kansas, Oregon, North Carolina, Virginia
Such an event has happened only once before, back in 2008 when Kansas, Memphis, North Carolina and UCLA all made it to the Final Four as a No. 1 seed. Kansas would go on to beat Memphis for the title.
2. ACC Final Four: Miami, Duke, North Carolina, Virginia
This has never happened but maybe is bound to given that conferences are now as crowded as the Acela check-in at Penn Station. Only once before has a conference even gotten three teams into the Final Four and that was back in 1985, the first year of the 64-team bracket, when the Big East sent three. I guess everyone just figured the tournament would be won by random teams and dominated by single conferences after that first one, huh?
N/A. Cinderella Final Four: N/A
Sorry y'all, Cinderella bounced. The worst seed on the left side of the bracket is No. 5 Maryland and only two double-digit seeds remain, neither of whom has feet or egos small enough to fit a glass slipper.
(Photo by Chris Covatta/Getty Images)
3. The Donald Trump Final Four (best hair): Kansas, Duke, Wisconsin, Gonzaga
"Best" is open to interpretation because this is a non-partisan post. Bill Self's "hair" is a bit controversial, Mike Krzyzewski looks like he dyes his with shoe polish, Juwan Morgan actually has awesome hair and, though Kevin Pangos is no longer with Gonzaga, the memory of his luscious, flowing mane still lies in the hearts of every bulldog.
(Photo by Michael Hickey/Getty Images)
4. Repeated title winner Final Four: Villanova, Duke, Indiana, Syracuse
It'd be the second for Villanova, sixth for Coach K (!), the sixth for Indiana (who had five back when Duke had none) and second for Syracuse. Other former champions in the field: Kansas, Maryland, North Carolina and Wisconsin.
5. The not-named-for-states-or-cities-where-they're-located Final Four: Villanova, Duke, Notre Dame, Gonzaga
The only two teams to have won the championship in the 64-team era that weren't named after a state or city would be in this Final Four. (I think you can guess which two.) Just think, if Gonzaga changed its name to Spokane it could do wonders for the program.
6. The Jim Nantz Final Four (best potential victory lines): Miami, Oregon, Indiana, Virginia
Miami: "Miami is taking its title to South Beach!"
Oregon: "Duck Dynasty!
Indiana: "Hoosier champion? Indiana wins the title.
Virginia: "Yes, Virginia, there is a title!"
(Brendan Maloney-USA TODAY Sports)
7. Midwestern Final Four: Kansas, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, Iowa State
First person to email me saying Oklahoma isn't the Midwest gets a knuckle sandwich, which is when I Xerox my knuckle, take the copy and stick it between two pieces of healthy wheat bread.
8. The Beau Brummell Final Four (best dressed coaches): Villanova, Duke, UNC, Virginia
Jay Wright looks like he was cut out of a Brooks Brothers catalog. Coach K's suits have all the imagination of a Wall St. banker but you know those things cost like nine-grand each. Roy is Roy while his ACC counterpart Tony Bennett is looking to bring business casual to the sideline and in a far more successful way than Mike Brey, who went from looking like a 1976 class picture with his turtleneck to looking like an old man who's just given up at life with that stubbly gray beard of his.
Brey, unhappy with his placement? (Photo by Elsa/Getty Images)
9. The Uni Final Four (best unis): Kansas, Oregon, Indiana, Virginia
Kansas and Indiana and classics, Virginia is the best of a bad lot in the Midwest. But why Oregon? Let me explain: The Ducks' unis are the worst of the tournament, but their boldness and refusal to heed to the norms of the NCAA (favorites wear white) give them a tone of civil disobedience to go with the squinting and the knowledge in 15 years people will look back at these jerseys and they'll be more outdated than John Stockton's short-shorts.
10. Swing state Final Four: Miami, Duke, Wisconsin, Virginia
Florida, North Carolina, Wisconsin and Virginia, I do not envy you, for you shall be soon inundated with commercials about Hillary, Donald and whichever third-party candidate rises like a phoenix and jumps into the race. I'm thinking Jeff Probst. His reality show is and was far better than The Apprentice.
11. The Bernie Sanders Final Four (spread the wealth) : Villanova (2), Miami (3), Iowa State (4), Virginia (1)
Politics. EDGY!
12. The blue-blood Final Four: Kansas, Duke, North Carolina, Syracuse
This was a tough one given that the Midwest has no real blue bloods. Syracuse gets the nod because of the championship they won when Kansas missed free throws in '03 (which would be remedied five years later when Kansas won a title because Memphis missed free throws).
(Marco Garcia-USA TODAY Sports)
13. The efficient Final Four (highest efficiency rank via kenpom): Kansas (2), Oklahoma (7), North Carolina (3) and Virginia (1)
The top three teams are all still remaining, while only one remains of the Nos. 4, 5 and 6. (That's Villanova, which is paired with Kansast. The other teams that rank ahead of Oklahoma are Michigan State (you belong to history now) and Kentucky (another disappointing, non-undefeated year).
14. The deficient Final Four (lowest rank): Maryland (22), Duke (19), Notre Dame (34), Syracuse (28)
Yeah, who would have thought Duke would be on this list? But again, here's the crazy part of this Sweet 16: If you were filling out a Sweet 16 bracket, this would be a perfectly legitimate Final Four. Is it likely? Of course not. But I'll bet you one knuckle sandwich that at least one of these teams plays in Houston.
(Photo by Gianni Ferrari/Cover/Getty Images)
15. The disgraced alumni Final Four: Maryland (Jayson Blair), Duke (Richard Nixon), North Carolina (Ken Jeong), Syracuse (the two guys who created Studio 54)
Plagiarizer, first U.S. President to resign, has degrees from both Duke AND Carolina and also was in those two "Hangover" sequels and, as for the Studio 54 dudes, you all saw how they did Ryan Phillippe dirty in that movie, right?
16. The boss alumni Final Four: Kansas (Scott Bakula), Duke (Retta), Wisconsin (Jim Lovell), UVA (Boyd Tinsley).
Treat yo'self to a quantum leap that takes you around, but not on, the moon all set to the sounds of a violin-playing tennis-loving UVA grad who unfortunately has to hang around Dave Matthews all the time.
17. Chris Chase's predicted Final Four: Kansas, Oklahoma, North Carolina, Virginia
Here's one for you: While much is made about the fact that three schools from the same conference have never made the Final Four, it's also true that there's never been a modern Final Four that featured half from one conference and half from another. That 1985 F4 is the only time there's been just two conferences represented, but that was 3-to-1, not 2-to-2.
18. The actual Final Four: Well, any teams but Kansas, Oklahoma, North Carolina, Virginia
Trust me.
