Ads are coming to NBA jerseys, here's what each team's should be
On Friday at the annual NBA Board of Governor's meeting, Commissioner Adam Silver announced the league's plans to move forward with implementing a three-year "pilot program" which will feature sponsor logos on jerseys starting in 2017.
Silver's reasoning behind this controversial change:
"It's my hope, independent of whatever additional revenues are generated through this patch program, that the greatest impact will be in this amplifying effect of companies choosing to associate directly with a team jersey, then going out and promoting that relationship to the largest market,"
Furthermore:
"The media landscape is changing ... people are watching less live television outside of sports. People are watching fewer commercials. This will become an important opportunity for companies for connecting directly with their consumers."
While it's certainly understandable, fans of each team have to be wondering what corporate logo is going to be splattered all over their favorite team's uniform ...
No need to overthink this, NBA Chief Marketing Officers — I've taken care of this for you and have illustrated what company/concept/product should be associated with your franchise during this three-year period:
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Atlanta Hawks, Jurassic Park
A completely different, unrecognizable product after the first two rounds
Boston Celtics, Play Doh
Make something out of nothing!
Brooklyn Nets, Bear Stearns
Sacrificed their future and liquidated every asset overnight they could get their hands on to try and be like New York's other big banks. The company goes bankrupt, the stock falls to zero, and they are completely irrelevant after once being the talk of the town.
Charlotte Hornets, Kleenex
In the event your owner becomes a viral meme.
Chicago Bulls, Icy Hot
The joke writes itself.
Cleveland Cavaliers, Three Musketeers
You may not be happy about it, but, you're going to consume it anyway.
Dallas Mavericks, Rick's Cabaret
When word play gets weird...
Denver Nuggets, McDonald's
Perfect for a state that always has the munchies...
Detroit Pistons, Trump
When your head coach is famous for wanting to "form a f***ing wall", who better to sponsor it than...
Golden State Warriors, NBA Jam
If they make three 3s in a row, it's over.
Houston Rockets, Radio City Rockettes
No comment.
Indiana Pacers, Sega
Used to be awesome, still kinda is if you're in the mood for cheap, nostalgic entertainment that you enjoyed as a kid in the 90s/early 2000s.
Los Angeles Clippers, Ferrari
Flashiest car on the market that everyone wants to own, but, there's always something wrong with it and/or it's in the shop.
Los Angeles Lakers, Walmart
Family-owned business that dominates the landscape the moment they open up shop in your city.
Memphis Grizzlies, WWE
Lance Stephenson, Zach Randolph, Birdman, Matt Barnes, Tony Allen, PJ Hairston -- WE ARE THE NATION ... OF DOMINATION.
Miami Heat, Twitter
Everyone knows it should be worth more than it currently is.
Milwaukee Bucks, John Deere
Seamless.
Minnesota Timberwolves, Tinder
Too perfect not to.
New Orleans Pelicans, SpaghettiOs
The arena is already called "The Smoothie King Center", might as well go all the way with it and monopolize New Orleans' reputation of being the best food and drink city in the country.
New York Knicks, Cablevision
...And I'm James Dolan, and I have cable. No seriously, he owns it all.
Oklahoma City Thunder, Sonic
A company called Sonic being headquartered in Oklahoma City is legitimately one of the most underrated, unintentional troll acts in the history of United States business.
Orlando Magic, MySpace
Going to set a world record for attempts at rebuilding.
Philadelphia 76ers, Spirit Airlines
You get what you pay for.
Phoenix Suns, Sons of Anarchy
Why has this not happened yet even before this year's Board of Governor's meeting?
Portland Trail Blazers, Kingsford
All it takes is one spark and an entire inferno can erupt within seconds.
Sacramento Kings, Burger King
Scary how much these two have in common.
San Antonio Spurs, Botox
Just one session and you'll feel ageless.
Toronto Raptors, Drake
If Drake isn't on top of the rap/hip-hop world already, this would probably get him there...
Utah Jazz, Spotify
Should have been Napster. Miss you, Napster...
Washington Wizards, Magic The Gathering
A fun concept, but not nearly as fun as it should be.
