Heat big man Hassan Whiteside doesn't understand how nicknames work
A quick Google search for "nickname rules" returns over 21 million results, because people take nicknames very seriously.
All of those lists scattered across the Internet agree on one rule in particular: You don't get to pick your own nickname. Period.
Now, we'll admit that's a rule that sometimes gets broken. If you're LeBron James or Prince, for instance, the world will forgive you for declaring your own nickname -- although in LeBron's case, we're going to mock you the whole time, too.
But if you're not one of the very best at your chosen profession, the rule stands. So someone should inform Miami Heat big man Hassan Whiteside that he's making a big mistake by christening his own nickname:
Okay, make that two mistakes, because that nickname is pretty bad. We get it. Whiteside is really good at blocking shots. It's clever, we guess.
Hassan Whiteside on his monster triple-double last night: "Ain't nobody doing it with blocks"https://t.co/4613lX7oZu
— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) January 16, 2016
But is Whiteside drawing inspiration from Gilbert Arenas' "Agent Zero" moniker? Because given Arenas' recent comments, we're not sure that's the guy you want to be inspired by.
NBA fans, meanwhile, made it clear on Twitter that Whiteside is breaking the rules -- and they offered some suggestions for new nicknames:
@EthanJSkolnick That's not how nicknames work, Hassan. We choose them for you. And we choose Blocktopus.
— Jon Anker (@jmanker) March 22, 2016
. @EthanJSkolnick please explain to Hassan that this is not how it works.
— Classier Guy (@PantsFreeZone) March 22, 2016
his nickname is now Cheese until we say otherwise
"Cheese" it is. Vince Vaughn would be proud.
