Into the Bears' Den: What Star Wars characters are the Memphis Grizzlies?
December 12, 2016; Los Angeles, CA, USA; Los Angeles Clippers spirit dancers dressed in Star Wars stormtrooper costumes perform during a stoppage in play at Staples Center. Mandatory Credit: Gary A. Vasquez-USA TODAY Sports
With the release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story today, our writers decided to have some fun and compare Memphis Grizzlies players to characters throughout the Star Wars universe for this week’s “Into the Bears Den” roundtable.
Without further ado, let’s get things started. Go Memphis Grizzlies. Go Star Wars.
Shouts out to Ryan Snellings for pushing everyone to make sure this roundtable got done. In case you missed it, he blessed your TL with Star Wars gifs on @BealeStBearsFS all day on Dec. 16. Definitely go check them out, he knows his stuff.
You can follow Ryan Snellings, Beale Street Bears’ Star Wars expert, on Twitter at @RSnellings25.
Wade Baldwin is a Stormtrooper
Nov 30, 2016; Toronto, Ontario, CAN; Memphis Grizzlies guard Wade Baldwin IV (4) drives to the basket as Toronto Raptors point guard Cory Joseph (6) defends at Air Canada Centre. Mandatory Credit: Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports
This was the easiest comparison. Wade, much like a stormtrooper, cannot shoot. Many players could bull’s-eye womp rats from their T-16, but not Wade. Although Obi-Wan explains to Luke Skywalker that only Imperial stormtroopers are so precise, it becomes apparent across the films that’s not necessarily the case. Their aim is so poor, it has become a TV trope.
Baldwin, who is shooting an abysmal 32 percent this year isn’t much better. His 3-point percentage is 11 percent. Yes. Eleven, which isn’t good unless you’re a young girl with a shaved head and psychic powers. Baldwin really needs to up his shooting numbers if he wants to get more impactful minutes going forward.
You can follow Ryan Snellings, Beale Street Bears’ Star Wars expert, on Twitter at @RSnellings25.
Vince Carter is Obi-Wan Kenobi (Old Ben Version)
Dec 14, 2016; Memphis, TN, USA; Memphis Grizzlies guard Vince Carter dribbles the ball as Cleveland Cavaliers guard Mike Dunleavy (3) defends in the first half at FedExForum. Mandatory Credit: Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports
The once savvy and skilled knight is now an old master. Obi-Wan went from a top Jedi Master in the Order to an old hermit who watched over Luke until the time was right. Much like Kenobi, Carter is set to train the younger group, but is still very serviceable in his own right. Vince Carter has managed to age like fine wine. He’s been great off the bench for Memphis this year, but hopefully he doesn’t have to sacrifice himself like Obi-Wan did.
You can follow Ryan Snellings, Beale Street Bears’ Star Wars expert, on Twitter at @RSnellings25.
Marc Gasol is Han Solo
Dec 10, 2016; Memphis, TN, USA; Memphis Grizzlies center Marc Gasol (33) and guard Tony Allen (9) celebrate during the second half against the Golden State Warriors at FedExForum. The Grizzlies won 110-89. Mandatory Credit: Justin Ford-USA TODAY Sports
Look, this one is a bit of a stretch. But just like Han, he’s got swagger and he’s lovable to most, although he can opposing fans the wrong way. Han brags about doing the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs. Marc hits clutch 3’s and dances. Both have that cockiness that a hero sometimes needs. Han also cares about his family. Marc most definitely does. The two are both just so darn lovable.
Tony Allen is Chewbacca
Who else? Tony has every player’s back, much like Chewbacca would do anything for his friends. Both are tough characters who have a bit of a goofy side. Plus, don’t act like you wouldn’t like to see Tony Allen get mad and just start ripping arms off.
You can follow Parker Fleming on Twitter at @PAKA_FLOCKA
Mike Conley is THE FORCE
Nov 26, 2016; Miami, FL, USA; Memphis Grizzlies guard Mike Conley (11) drives the ball between Miami Heat forward Luke Babbitt (5) and forward James Johnson (16) during the first half at American Airlines Arena. Mandatory Credit: Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports
Let’s see. In the 2015 playoffs, Mike Conley basically broke his face and came back a week later. This year, he fractures his vertebrae and is ready to go in three weeks. How could one defy the laws of injury recovery like that? Simple. The Force isn’t only with Conley. THE FORCE IS MIKE CONLEY. Case closed. *drops mic*
You can follow Ryan Schmitz on Twitter at @XC_Gang_Schmitz
Marc Gasol is Chewbacca
Who is tall, muscular, speaks a different language and hairy? Marc Gasol. Not only does he have all those attributes but he also has so many other uses. Like Chewbacca, who can do multiple things, Marc Gasol rebounds, passes, shoots and plays interior defense for the Grizzlies.He is one of the most lovable players on the Grizzlies, just like Chewbacca is for the Star Wars fans.
Mike Conley is Han Solo
Who is Chewbacca’s best and inseparable friend? Han Solo. Who is Marc Gasol’s basketball buddy? Mike Conley. Conley runs the offense that centers around Marc Gasol, just like Han Solo makes the plans that Chewbacca helps with. Another similarity? Han Solo recovered fast after being stuck in carbonite, just like Mike Conley recovered extraordinarily fast from a broken back.
Tony Allen is an Ewok
Dec 10, 2016; Memphis, TN, USA; Memphis Grizzlies center Marc Gasol (33) reacts during the second half against the Golden State Warriors at FedExForum. Memphis Grizzlies defeated the Golden State Warriors 110-89. Mandatory Credit: Justin Ford-USA TODAY Sports
Allen off the court is so fun loving and cute. On the court although, he is pesky making opposing players have no fun and shutting them down. Im sure the Galatic Empire didn’t think the Ewoks would help the rebellion much, just like Klay Thompson didn’t think he would score just 8 points against Allen.
Troy Daniels is Jar Jar Binks
Jar Jar looked like he was an idiot who couldn’t possibly help. In the end, he ended up being one of the heros for his people. Troy Daniels started the year cold, but has gotten hot and helped the Grizzlies on their current hot streak with all these injuries. Not many fans thought he would be one of the key reasons they could overcome these injuries.
Kevin Durant is Darth Vader
He went to the dark side and joined the already powerful villains. Don’t worry though, the bad guy always loses.
You can follow Ian Pierno on Twitter at @IanPierno
Nov 18, 2016; Dallas, TX, USA; Memphis Grizzlies forward Chandler Parsons (25) motions to the Dallas Mavericks bench after making a three point basket during the second half at the American Airlines Center. The Grizzlies defeat the Mavericks 80-64. Mandatory Credit: Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports
Chandler Parsons is sexy princess Leia
Remember when Leia is captured by Jabba the Hutt, but it’s pretty eye pleasing? Well, she’s worth a ton of money and it was great for photo ops. Chandler Parsons is worth a lot of money, is chained down (due to injuries) and posts on Instagram a lot.
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