Cam Newton, Exiled Member Of Exotic Barbershop Quartet, Is Expertly Trolling All Of Us
Cam Newton’s fashion statements have reached the point where the franchise QB has finally made a rather triumphant leap from my all-encompassing, Monday morning review to quite a special place of his very own.
Sure, Cam’s done plenty of outrageous shit in the past.
For example, fasten road kill to his jeans.
Or wear capris, seemingly in tribute to the O.G. of showing off some leg, Dwyane Wade.
Can't just do this after wins, so … #MADE pic.twitter.com/AJ5xxiZmFd
— Black & Blue Review (@BlackBlueReview) September 22, 2014
But for the most part, Cam has always been one of the sharpest dressed players in the NFL, and one of the very few ready and able to once and for all toss Tom Brady off the top of the Christmas tree.
That is, of course, until today, where I found myself doing multiple searches to confirm 100% that this was not, in fact, a beautiful piece of photoshop work that quickly gained traction on Twitter.
An EXTREMELY dapper Cam Newton is at the podium
Watch LIVE: https://t.co/ZWRWDfTKoJ pic.twitter.com/y6adSd8Q6u
— Carolina Panthers (@Panthers) September 18, 2016
CONFIRMED.
It’s also officially confirmed that Cam Newton is trolling the hell out of all of us. And it’s working.
Cam Newton is out of control. pic.twitter.com/mbgA9DNMCK
— Erik Fontanez (@Nahmles) September 18, 2016
Very well, in fact.
Cam Newton, quarterback by day, Monorail salesman by night. #panthers #SFvsCAR pic.twitter.com/56Gqddygt2
— Kevin Thang (@Skip2MyJays) September 18, 2016
And I wholeheartedly ENCOURAGE the shit out of it.
Remember when Cam Newton wore that hat? Pepperidge Farm remembers. pic.twitter.com/7rcqWtZHJk
— NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) September 18, 2016
You know you’re wearing something pretty special when you could also use said accessory as a fancy serving plate to impress even the snootiest of attendees at your next shallow dinner party, as well as to confirm that all hanging photos in your household are perfectly level.
Yes, this is very much the face of a man who knows exactly what he’s doing.
So while Ron Rivera and the rest of the Panthers coaching staff have probably begun prepping for the Vikings 3, there is little doubt in my mind that a devoted team of ambitious stylists and Cam himself are already working feverishly to figure out how to break Twitter next Sunday.
If Cam doesn’t stroll up to the podium wearing The Rock’s signature sunglasses and an inventive headdress made of live snakes, it will most certainly feel like the plan has tragically fallen off course.
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