National Football League

For William Gay, the battle against domestic violence never ends

Published Apr. 29, 2015 4:11 p.m. ET

Sid Saraf

While NFL teams pool their resources and prepare to add reinforcements in Thursday's NFL Draft, Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback William Gay is in the midst of a different mission.

The eight-year veteran is working tirelessly to end domestic violence.

Gay has a personal and tragic connection to this issue. When he was just 7 years old, his stepfather shot and killed his mother before turning the gun on himself, leaving William and his two brothers without a family.

The roller-coaster ride he experienced following that tragedy is documented in a spot he recently filmed for Verizon. Gay is teaming up with the telecommunications provider's HopeLine service to help stop domestic violence by encouraging the community to donate their used phones -- the goal is to reach a million by the end of 2015 -- at any Verizon store, to provide support to victims and survivors of domestic abuse.

Gay hasn't stopped there. The 30-year-old Steelers vet has spent countless hours speaking at seminars about domestic violence, counseling and helping victims and survivors, and volunteering at the Women's Center and Shelter of Greater Pittsburgh.

"It was an eye-opener. Just walking in there and listening to individuals tell their stories ... it helped me cope with life," said Gay, who also had been able to share his own story. "It helped me become the man I am today."

And there are a lot of stories. One in three women — and one out of four men — experience violence at the hands of an intimate partner at some point in their lives. Phone calls to domestic violence hotlines throughout the country number more than 20,000 in a single day.

And while the NFL has dealt with ugly incidents — think Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson and Greg Hardy — Gay does see positive steps being taken.

"Just talking about this issue is not touchy anymore," Gay said. "That's what we're trying to develop. To get to a point where we're not scared to talk about it. Not scared to get in someone's business.

"People want to hear about the issue and want to do something to help."

But what of the people doing the abusing? Should Ray Rice be afforded another chance to play football? Should the Dallas Cowboys have thought better of signing Greg Hardy?

While a common refrain among many is to forbid them from playing professional sports, Gay feels education is the best option.

"You can't cast out or push anyone away," Gay said. "You have to attack both sides of it."

So, how would he deal with having someone like Hardy or Rice in his locker room?

"We need to wrap our arms around them and bring them closer. Because they need help. Pushing them away is not going to get them help," he said.

Hardy ran into an issue last week when he got into a verbal altercation with a teammate during an organized workout. Things escalated when said teammate, Davon Coleman, reportedly called Hardy a "woman beater."

While some would say Hardy had that coming, Gay says he would take a different approach in that situation.

"We have to stand there and be a support system and let them know there are people out there willing and able to help solve these problems and seek the proper steps to better themselves."

Gay has taken it upon himself to work with NFL brass to get the league to recognize October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month in the same way it does with Breast Cancer Awareness Month. What's more, Gay has noticed players and team employees open to talking about their feelings.

"We're trying to get people to open up and come together," Gay said.

Because ultimately, this issue transcends football.

"We're talking about life," Gay said. "We're not talking about a game. My mom lost her life to domestic violence. Game over. We need to be in this so we won't have more game-overs in the future."