Ravens GM trashes Kirk Cousins and Sam Bradford, says all teams desire a Joe Flacco
For the first time in its natural existence, the Washington Redskins social media team managed to handle something effectively.
That thing, as it were, was a response to Baltimore Ravens general manager Ozzie Newsome, who more or less called Kirk Cousins and Sam Bradford garbage while explaining why the team decided to fork over more cash to human Muppet character Joe Flacco this week.
In an interview with Baltimore's in-house staff writer Ryan Mink, Newsome said Wednesday's three-year, $40 million Flacco extension was inspired by his observations of other front offices struggling to find their own Flacco.
"Teams struggle with the quarterback position," Newsome said. "Philly signing [Sam] Bradford and Washington having to put the franchise tag on Cousins [are examples]. They don't have the resume that Joe has, and for us to be moving forward with a guy that has eight years and won a Super Bowl and been in three AFC championship games, it speaks volumes."
"I just spent about five days [at the NFL Scouting Combine] with GMs that are looking for a Joe Flacco, and they're not sleeping at night," Newsome said.
Can't argue against that. When your quarterback is better than a career backup and a dude with crown molding for joints, you have to do everything in your power to lock that man up long-term. Joe Flacco is the golden standard of quarterbacks.
"No one can appreciate a good quarterback [as much as] Ozzie Newsome can," Newsome said. "After going through what we went through...I learned a lot of lessons along the way of what a good quarterback really is."
Indeed. Any GM worth his salt knows a Flacco when he sees one. Every time an NFL front office begins a quarterback evaluation, they start with the same line of questioning: "Is he elite? Does he have the Flacco Factor (THE FLACCTOR)? Where does he read on the Flaccometer?"
So it's inarguable that the Ravens have quite the catch on their hands, and as such, they're more than comfortable letting other teams know that their quarterbacks are raw, river sewage in comparison.
This Flacco zest might explain the visuals employed when Baltimore tweeted out Newsome's comments. In lieu of an image of Flacco, the Ravens tweeted the link with cached side-by-side of pictures of Bradford and Cousins. Because obviously you know what Baltimore's bush-browed Adonis looks like, so check out these bozos:
Newsome: “Joe is our QB and we’re proud to say that. Teams struggle with the QB position.”https://t.co/yv3AzzK56n pic.twitter.com/DTxBGflZe2
— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) March 3, 2016
And, stunningly, the Redskins fired back with a rare, pitch-perfect response.
.@ravens pic.twitter.com/HlVJZfnHrQ
— Washington Redskins (@Redskins) March 3, 2016
Keep Cousins' name out your mouth, Baltimore. Yeah, they haven't reached the Flacco mountaintop. Not everyone can breathe that crisp, monotone air. But at least have the decency to "@" them if you're going to pop off on the timeline.
At least try to check your Flacco privilege, sirs and madams.
Dan is on Twitter. Flacco privilege is not a right, Maryland.
