What to watch this NFL season, from Trey Lance's throws to Travis Kelce's beard
By Charlotte Wilder
FOX Sports Columnist
It took me a long time to admit this, but I live for drama.
One of the biggest reasons I love sports is because I love mess and gossip, and almost every game or personnel decision is accompanied by both.
Following the NFL is so much fun because the league tries to pretend it isn’t dramatic while perpetuating soap opera storylines. The battles for succession, the subtweets, the lows of failure and the highs of success — it’s all there, even when coaches respond to questions with one-word answers.
Most season "previews" focus on teams' prospects for success and the Xs and Os of the game. This one doesn’t. This is a list of the narratives I am excited to watch unfold.
So if you also live for gossip (or football!), please, come right this way.
Travis Kelce’s next move
Kelce is up to something. Earlier this summer, the Chiefs’ tight end dropped the bomb that we’ve all been saying his last name wrong for, well, ever. It is apparently pronounced Kelse (as in pulse), not Kel-see (as in Chelsea). Then he shaved his signature beard, a feature so integral to his face that I honestly didn’t realize he had a beard until he got rid of it.
This is a man who is either going through an early midlife crisis or drumming up attention for the launch of a clothing line. I can’t wait to see what other non-football-related changes he has up his sleeve and what his grand endgame is.
Because there has to be one. He is, after all, a man who once had his own reality television show.
Danny Dimes’ play of the year
Few things brought me greater joy in 2020 (which was, admittedly, a joyless year) than watching Daniel Jones run so fast that he tripped over his own feet. It was such an earnest play, you know? He was trying so hard that he surpassed his own capacity for speed and went tumbling toward the end zone. As someone who has historically been overeager, I related deeply. I do not mean this to sound like I’m making fun of Jones. I really, truly loved it.
I hope Jones provides us with more moments of athletic brilliance, even if they’re legitimately good instead of endearingly bad. You could give me another trip, but heck, I’ll also take a 70-yard touchdown bomb. When performed by a man who looks like Eli Manning’s son — if Eli Manning’s son were an econ major at Duke — any athletic feat becomes a little more entertaining.
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That’s it. Just Mac Jones.
I’m a Pats fan — sue me.
Julian Edelman inevitably joining his old New England pals in Tampa, and Tom Brady winning his millionth Super Bowl
I’m a nihilistic Pats fan — sue me.
The Bengals’ offensive line
I almost lost my mind when Joe Burrow blew out his knee last year. I — and anyone else who watches football — had been saying all season that the Bengals were going to get the rookie seriously injured. That's because the team neglected to shore up its offensive line, a component essential to protecting the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft. It was so obvious that Burrow’s season wasn’t going to end well, yet coach Zac Taylor just plowed ahead and made Burrow throw, run and take hits far more than any quarterback should. Burrow got sacked more times in one game than he did in his entire last season at LSU.
The bottom line is that Burrow has mostly recovered (even though some of his teammates say he’s still playing tentatively), and the Bengals have taken some steps to fix their colander-like pass protection. Taylor fired offensive line coach Jim Turner and brought back Frank Pollack, a hire most people in the Bengals' orbit seem to like. While the team passed on taking tackle Penei Sewell with the fifth overall pick, it did make some personnel changes that could help.
Time will tell. The bottom line remains: Protect Joe Burrow.
Trey Lance’s bajillion-mph throws
Not to get ahead of myself — and no offense to Jimmy G — but Lance could be the best thing that has happened to San Francisco since Jerry Garcia.
I mean, did you see this?
How many yards Derrick Henry rushes
Henry is the human equivalent of a brick house that grew legs and can run a 40 faster than the speed limit of suburban streets. I spent most of last season arguing that he should be league MVP, but running back is unfortunately not the sexiest position in the NFL (read: they’re not quarterbacks). Regardless, watching Henry play football is a thing of beauty, and if he has another 2,000-plus-yard season, perhaps some folks will finally see the light.
Chicago saying the Bears will win the Super Bowl after Justin Fields wins a game
Something I admire deeply about Bears fans is their ability to be at once wildly optimistic and deeply resigned to the fact that their team will blow it. Despite excitement about first-round draft pick Fields, Coach Matt Nagy has been adamant that veteran QB Andy Dalton will start, perhaps because his hair so perfectly matches the Bears' uniforms.
Some fans believe that Fields could be the savior of Chicago and also that Nagy could screw up his development or not play him at all (I’m sure some think Fields could turn out to be a bust, but let’s not go there yet). But if Fields usurps Dalton for the starting position this season and wins his first NFL game, Chicago’s optimism could take over, and the city might very well decide that a Super Bowl win is on the horizon.
Until the first time Fields loses.
I love sports.
Sam Darnold’s MVP-caliber season with the Panthers
The most Jets thing in the entire world would be getting rid of Darnold, only to have him absolutely thrive with Carolina under Matt Rhule.
The race to the bottom — who will tank?
One of my favorite NFL traditions is when two teams are inevitably winless heading into Week 7, kicking off the Battle Of Who Can Be Worse. Which then kicks off the speculation as to "Who will draft Spencer Rattler?" and prompts fans to root against their own team in hopes of securing the highest possible draft pick.
There's nothing like losing to win. It's almost as good as gossip.
Charlotte Wilder is a general columnist and co-host of "The People's Sports Podcast" for FOX Sports. She's honored to represent the constantly neglected Boston area in sports media, loves talking to sports fans about their feelings and is happiest eating a hotdog in a ballpark or nachos in a stadium. Follow her on Twitter @TheWilderThings.