National Football League

Who gets RG3? Solving the NFL's biggest mystery.

Published Feb. 25, 2016 10:48 a.m. ET

Chris Chase

Whenever Robert Griffin III and the Washington Redsikins part ways -- whether by release or trade, although it would take a Snyderian effort from another team to trade for a guy who's about to be on the open market -- let's agree not to call it the end of an era. Oh, it's the end of something. The final remnants of a shooting star leaving town. The last link to the 20 years of mediocrity under Dan Snyder (at least that's what Redskins fans hope). The last goodbye to a man who had rallied the city like no athlete in decades, if only for a half of one magical season. But an era? C'mon. Cutting ties with Sammy Baugh would be the end of an era. This is just what happens every year: The Redskins cutting yet another draft pick that blew up in their face.

But when it happens, where will Griffin land? Who's willing to flip a coin on a guy who's had almost as many major surgeries as he's had great NFL games? It's amazing that it's the biggest parlor game of the offseason: Which team wants a QB deemed to be worse than Colt McCoy?

Let's look at the candidates, assessing their likelihood of getting RG on a scale of I to 10:

1. Dallas Cowboys: ZERO

Haven't we established that Stephen Jones is able to talk his father out of making mindless, headline-making quarterback acquisitions? Griffin is no Johnny Manziel and he'll probably be available for just a few million, so he won't cost Dallas much in terms of money or roster upheaval. But does he fit in the Tony Romo system? Romo has three seasons before turning 38. He's not going anywhere for a while. Is Dallas willing to look that far ahead just for a backup (who will almost certainly play a few games because of Romo brittleness), especially one who isn't exactly an easy fit with Romo's system? Then again, neither were Brandon Weeden or Matt Cassel, I guess. Most important, perhaps, is this: You've seen and heard evidence of Griffin's ego, right? (That's no insult. A great QB should have a big ego.) Knowing that, you have to figure he's going to a place where he can fight for, then lose, the starting job.

2. Kansas City Chiefs: 2

Andy Reid will surely kick the tires on Griffin -- they seem like a good match. But if you believe, as I do, that Griffin isn't going to a team where there's not an open competition for quarterback, then KC will be but a flyover state in his job search.

3. New York Jets: 3

That's a 1.5 for everyone who forgot Roman Numerals when the NFL inexplicably shunned them for Super Bowl 50, which now looks so dumb when it shares a list with all the other Roman Numeraled title games. I don't know, I thought Ryan Fitzpatrick was pretty good and it seems the Jets do too because re-signing him seems to be a matter of if, not when. His backup is Bryce Petty, who also starred at Baylor, albeit one year after Griffin left Waco. Given why Fitzpatrick will probably get from the Jets, bringing in a backup with starting intentions probably isn't the best move.

4. Denver Broncos: 6

This operates under the assumption that Peyton Manning is retiring. When he does, Brock Osweiler will almost certainly be given all assurances that the job is his. But will it be? Why wouldn't the team take a flyer on Griffin and see if Gary Kubiak can win with him, sending Brock back to the bench. Even if the job is Osweiler's to lose, at the very least, Griffin would have a chance to legitimately start in Denver, unlike in Dallas or Kansas City, where the competitions aren't just closed, they don't exist.

5. Philadelphia Eagles: 7

Man, how much would Griffin love to go to Philly, get the starting job and then stick it to Dan Snyder twice a year for the next decade? Seriously, I'm asking, because I don't think Griffin is all that vengeful and believe he'll leave Washington on good terms with Dan Snyder, still sending him a Christmas card every year and in return getting form letters about becoming a Redskins season ticket holder. However, business is business and when the Eagles finally realize that just because Sam Bradford was overpaid once, it doesn't mean he needs to continue to be overpaid, they might go a-lookin to see if RG3 will pull a reverse Donovan.

6. Los Angeles Rams: 10

I've heard the word "irony" thrown around in reference to Griffin possibly playing for the Cowboys or Eagles, which it wouldn't be. Griffin going to the Rams -- now that'd be irony. In 2012, the team sat at No. 2 in the Andrew Luck/RGIII draft and convinced Snyder to fork over all but his first born in return for moving up in the draft to get Griffin. Now there's a chance Griffin could go back to the Rams, who still have many of the players drafted with those Griffin picks. (Mind blown.) It's a good fit. It's a splash for an L.A. team that will make one simply by virtue of being in Los Angeles, but also needs to stay relevant when that new-car smell disappears. And it's a great splash because no matter the question, Nick Foles is never the answer.

7. Starring with Tim Tebow in a Perfect Strangers sequel: 11, just because this is so good it defies 1-10 rankings

Elevator pitch: Two failed NFL quarterbacks, too alike for their own good but living out separate dreams, are roommates trying to make it in this topsy-turvy world.

Tebow's character perpetually thinks he's going to get another shot in the NFL while RG3's guy has faced reality and given up, working as a personal assistant to a Gronk-like NFLer. Hijinx ensue while one tries to get back into the league and the other is working on wacky Love Boat-style shenanigans on the high seas aboard a Gronk cruise. Then, in the season finale, Tebow thinks he's about to sign with a team until a scout wanders over to the other side of the field where he sees Tebow's friend (the RG3 character) playing catch and immediately signs him to a deal, leading to an excellent season 1 cliffhanger. It's gold.

Apart from No. 7, which is clearly the best option, my favorite part of the RGSpree is that no one, no one at all, knows how it's going to play out. Once everything is signed and the press conference smiles fade away, we'll act like we knew it was coming -- that is was inevitable. The truth is that we can only make educated guesses because not even RG3 knows where he's going. (It's like when everyone said they knew LeBron was going to Miami after The Decision, only this decision isn't capitalized and won't lead to championships.) And if you're a mystery teams, why would your overplay your hand while Robert Griffin III is still under contract? Never underestimate the element of surprise.