"Welcome Friends," to the 3rd Annual OKTC Masters Drinking Game. I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been waiting 365 days to hear Jimmy Nantz say, "A tradition unlike any other," 192 times a day and remind us who is "due" for a Major. The only way this can be appropriately celebrated is with a drinking game, so drink up!
Take One Drink if the Following Happens: (We'll start out slow with the classics)
Jim Nantz says "A tradition unlike any other".....duh.
What's that? Did they just mention Magnolia Lane, Amen Corner, Butler Cabin, or Rae's Creek??
That's a really catchy tune...the Masters' theme song is playing. Drink!
Nick Faldo starts reliving his glory days.
Jack Nicklaus's major wins record is mentioned and/or Tiger breaking this record is mentioned. Bonus drink if anyone asks whether Tiger will get back to his old self. (Answer, no.)
Oh, Condoleeza Rice is now a member of Augusta National? Drink.
ANY Tiger Woods highlight is shown.
Freddy Couples had to withdraw, but did you know that he had to share a dorm room with Jim Nantz? Bless his heart.
Any time Adam Scott is shown. Drink. (This one's for you ladies. So hot.) Also any time it is mentioned that Adam Scott's former caddy, Steve Williams, used to be el Tigre's.
Some idiot shouts "In the Hole" or "Get in there" on a Par 5 tee shot.
No white belts should be allowed, looking at you, Europeans.
Whenever a player's girlfriend or wife is shown.
"Did you know that Arnold Palmer isn't doing the ceremonial tee shot this year?" Drink.
Hot Takes Time! Take Two Drinks when the following subjects come up:
Hey, did you know that Jordan Spieth is Justin Thomas's (who is a member of the 85%) best friend? Spieth also beat him in the National Championship. They also like to have sleepovers, play jokes on each other on tour, and grew up playing in tournaments together. Since this is JT's first Masters, do you think he asked Jordan for any advice, Pawwwll?
Did you know that Tiger Woods is not in fact playing in this year's Masters?
Jason Day played in the US Open with vertigo? Please, tell me more.
Did you know Bubba Watson is a huge douche canoe? Did you happen to miss his 60 minutes special where he's afraid of people, crowds, and buildings....which excuses him from being a total asshole to his caddy, allegedly.
Oh Dustin Johnson, where to I even start with you. How's Paulina? Is your soon-to-be-father-in-law, Wayne Gretzky, responsible for you rebounding from that little booger sugar problem of yours? Do you think you're going to choke this major away too?
My favorite story line though is Bryson DeChambeau, the amateur, who left SMU early because they're now on probation (Consistency is key, SMU). This kid has the weirdest methods of prepping, like spending two days at Jim Nantz's Pebble Beach home racking his brain. He's a total character, and I'm all in.
Take a Shot:
Any time an Eagle is made, preferably from a Crystal Goblet just like the one said golfer will be receiving.
Anytime Bubba is caught dropping an expletive by the cameras. #PrayForTedScott
Rickie Fowler is shown checking out any girl in the gallery.
Remember that year that Rory McIlroy choked harder than anything we've ever seen before? Shots. Shots. Shots.
Did you know that an amateur has never won the Masters? Don't blow this, DeChambeau.
FINISH ALL OF THE BEERS....
If Ted Scott finally reaches his limit with Bubba Watson and just walks off the course. How he hasn't yet is truly unbelievable.
Who is due?
While the rest of sports media is collectively having a meltdown over Tiger not playing this year, here's the list of people they've decided could possibly have a Masters win this week..... Jason Day, Jordan Spieth, Adam Scott, Dustin Johnson, Bubba Watson, Phil Mickelson, Brandt Snedeker, Jason Dufner, Rory McIlroy, Rickie Fowler, and Louis Oosthuizen.
I wish this was a joke, but this is the list of everyone I've seen picked. Personally, I'm going with the amateur, because we've been waiting for that since 1934, the people are due.You can follow along on my "Return to Augusta" for my 20th Masters on twitter @MattieLouOKTC. Enjoy.
