Illinois Fighting Illini

Badgers Off-Beat preview: Unbeaten and won't make playoff talk is nonsense

Published Oct. 27, 2017 12:20 p.m. ET

Brandon Rifkin

If you are looking for hard-hitting analysis, yeah, this ain’t it. But if you want a fun, entertaining read, you’ve found the right place. For more of Brandon Rifkin, please head to his blog or follow him on Twitter.

So it looks like it was late October for the beginning of the "Wisconsin's schedule is so soft that even if they go undefeated they won't make the playoff" talk. And that talk is NONSENSE. No good, uninformed, fan-baiting NONSENSE. I'm here to make my annual guarantee that if Wisconsin is undefeated they will be playing in the playoff. Fact. Lock it up. Championship.

There's simply no way a team that's currently fifth in the nation is left out of the playoff if they're sitting at 13-0 with a B1G Championship win over a top 10 OSU/PSU. I don't wanna hear the nonsense about the soft schedule. So much of that crap is beyond our control that I don't see how you significantly ding us. Dingus? DINGUS!

I hate all the scheduling crap. Nonconference schedules are determined so far in advance that outside a handful of schools, it's a complete crapshoot in guessing who will be a good opponent 12 years from now. We did the LSU/Bama/LSU thing and even THAT wasn't safe given that LSU has been slipping. BYU has been a great football program in the last decade or so, but of course the year we travel there they're down. You simply cannot confidently and accurately predict which of your nonconference foes will be top 25 teams in 10 years.
And in B1G play, we are at the mercy of the scheduling gods to determine which crossover schools we get. Some years we end up with Michigan/MSU/OSU/PSU ... some years we end up with the Indiana/Maryland/Rutgers cupcakes. The B1G adding another conference game would help, but it's tough for us that the rest of the West is so crappy.

I'm sure this just sounds like a laundry list of excuses. And you could very justifiably argue that we haven't LOOKED like the fifth-best team in the country (fair and screw you hater). But let's get this in digital writing right now: 13-0 Wisconsin ABSOLUTELY, UNEQUIVOCALLY, INDUBITABLY gets stomped by Alabama in the playoff thus making us wonder if we got what we wished for after all.

RANDOM MUSIC WE'RE DIGGING HARD THIS WEEK

https://youtu.be/N66Ki1iMMjY

Been on a weird Pumpkins kick lately, which is oddly appropriate since it's late October and Pumpkin ANYTHING is so in right now. So let's all enjoy this lesser appreciated Pumpkins jam. Pumpkin jam sounds disgusting. Pumpkins are not for eating or drinking and this madness must end.

BIG TEN FEAR RANKINGS

1. Ohio State, 6-1 (4-0). And just like that, OSU is a touchdown favorite against Penn State this weekend. Blah.

2. Penn State, 7-0 (4-0). Is there a job Franklin can jump to so these guys can go back to the NCAA purgatory they deserve? Why do they even still have a football program?

3. Wisconsin, 7-0 (4-0). Weekly Taylor projection: 25 carries, 890 yards, 26 touchdowns.

4. Michigan State, 6-1, (4-0). Seriously: is ANYONE noticing how sneaky this MSU team is? We're used to crying about Wisconsin not getting enough respect ... but does MSU have a legitimate case with that gripe?

5. Michigan, 5-2 (2-2). The dropoff from the top 4 to here is STEEP. In other news, watching Michigan get bundled gets old ... never.

6. Nebraska, 3-4, (2-2).

"GRAMMAR AT IT'S. Worst"

7. Northwestern, 4-3, (2-2). I'm currently writing this with the new Adam Sandler Netflix movie on in the background. My initial thought: Adam Sandler looks old. My secondary thought: this movie is weird AF. Third and final thought: Adam Sandler and Ben Stiller as brothers? JEWISH TYPECASTING.

8. Rutgers, 3-4 (2-2).

https://youtu.be/DnVrSZHnvYY

LOOK OUT FOR THE RUTGERS HYPE TRAIN!

9. Maryland, 3-4 (1-3). Well, yeah, they were pretty much what we expected. AKA not good.

10. Iowa, 4-3, (1-3). An inch from beating Penn State and now sitting at 1-3 in conference play. Thems the breaks and the breaks is ROUGH.

11. Minnesota, 4-3, (1-3). Today I learned that the little emojis you can use to react to a text in iOS is called the TAPBACK. Love the tapback! Now Apple just needs to let you tapback with any emoji like in Slack and we are COOKING in communication without actually typing out words.

12. Purdue, 3-4 (1-3).

#solidarity #underbite

13. Indiana, 3-4 (0-4). It went out and got fall in a hurry and I am NOT complaining. We are so deep in quarter zip and Patagonia season and I want it to never end.

14. Illinois, 2-5 (0-4). I'm just glad we cleared up the whole Rutgers/Illinois struggle for complete ineptitude. Big win for Illinois.

THIS WEEK'S GAME IN HAIKU

Whoa who's excited?

That's right: it's Illinois week

WHERE YOU AT GAMEDAY?

YOUTUBE

https://youtu.be/h_n8R-aMIiY

Love how much fun they're having as she is literally vomiting her life down the drain under the desk.

p.s -- why anyone would mess with a Carolina Reaper is beyond me. Those things are pure death and I say that as someone who loves spicy things.

https://youtu.be/tk_ZlWJ3qJI

This was much more interesting than I expected it to be, and whoa shocker special carnival games are a waste of money.

https://youtu.be/KaIZl0H2yNE

Carnies are the WORST.

PREDICTION CITY

CHYEAH RIGHT. THE PICK:

WISCONSIN 87, Illinois 7