Badgers off-beat preview: We're coming for you, Michigan
If you are looking for hard-hitting analysis, yeah, this ain't it. But if you want a fun, entertaining read, you've found the right place. For more of Brandon Rifkin, please head to his blog or follow him on Twitter.
I DON'T WANT TO GET OFF THE HORNIBROOK EXPRESS. Too much fun. That MSU game was beyond glorious. Some of us were more than hopeful we could pull off the upset, but no one thought we'd go into East Lansing and dismantle Michigan State. All facets were clicking: Alex Hornibrook was dropping dimes, the defense was tenacious in every sense of the word, and special teams had some nice contributions as well.
You all had us in the top 10 with wins over LSU and MSU at this point, right? Who's surprised that we're more contender than pretender? NOT I.*
* -- I am somewhat surprised
But we all know that was merely the beginning of the death stretch. There's no time to savor the flavor with a trip to the Big House looming. Michigan looks to be back at their elite level (that sentence was physically painful to type), but they haven't played anyone ... yet. Can UW keep the momentum and crush the soul of every single filthy person from the state of Michigan in consecutive weeks? WE MUST DESTROY PURE MICHIGAN
PS - The news about Rafael Gaglianone missing the season because of back surgery is awful. But am I weird in thinking it could be an intriguing opportunity? 4th-and-4 on the 30? Go for it. 4th-and-2 on the 20? Go for it. Basically we have a second motto for the season: we are #AllInOnHornDawg and when in doubt, #GoForIt
PPS - Was the last time we played Michigan the game where we ran the ball every single play in the second half? I miss that Michigan! I want more of that Michigan!
BIG TEN FEAR RANKINGS
1) Ohio State, 3-0 (0-0). Beat Michigan and then we get two weeks to relax before I have to talk myself into the possibility of beating Ohio State. Gotta walk before you can crawl.
2) Michigan, 4-0 (1-0). No more picking on scrubs and cupcakes. We ready for you. WE COMIN FOR YOU.
3) Wisconsin, 4-0 (1-0). Just remember: when in doubt, we gonna #GoForIt
4) Nebraska, 4-0 (1-0). Nebraska was supposed to be the EASY one in the death stretch. All of the sudden, they look like they might kinda know what they're doing. Ugh.
5) Michigan State, 2-1 (0-1). Hey Michigan State, the overrated store called, they said they're running out of you.
PS - Wait, I don't want them to be overrated. I want them to be amazing so our win looks better. The overrated store rescinds its call.
6) Minnesota, 3-0 (0-0). I don't feel like ripping on Minnesota this week, so here's a picture of some northern lights that look like a Phoenix:
I really, really want to see some bonkers aurora borealis like that sometime in my life. I've seen the northern lights before, but they were never ANYTHING like this.
8) Indiana, 2-1 (0-0). And just like that, the dreams of a perfect IU football season and march to the playoff are dashed. Fun while it lasted, though!
9) Illinois, 1-2 (0-0). Every couple of weeks I see something about Lovie Smith coaching Illinois and I completely forget that Lovie Smith is coaching Illinois. Hey, Lovie Smith is coaching Illinois! No one cares!
10) Purdue, 2-1 (0-0). LOL purdue forever and ever and ever
11) Penn State, 2-2 (0-1). They got hornswaggled by Michigan, which is just further confirmation that Penn State is very far from being back. Here's to many more years of them not being back!
12) Rutgers, 2-2 (0-1). I like the fight. Giving Iowa hell admirable. But the end result was exactly what we expected.
13) Iowa, 3-1 (1-0). For simply staying close with Rutgers, you go behind them. Good thing Ferentz is signed for the next 63 years.
14) Northwestern, 1-3 (0-1). Pat Fitzgerald just looks so damn smug. I am enjoying every inch of Northwestern's abysmal season.
MATCHUP TO WATCH
Michigan's High Flying Offense vs. Wisconsin's Super Dirty Defense. It's abundantly clear at this point that we need to ride this defense for all it's worth. Watt and Biegel flying all over the place, Shelton and Tindal ballhawking, Musso spin cycling ... it's all amazing and beautiful. And our only chance of continuing this dream ride is if those guys can keep bringing the havoc and making life miserable for opposing offenses. That won't be easy with the Wolverines this week, but I have a hunch they're up to the task. I'm cautiously predicting 14 sacks between Watt and Biegel. CAUTIOUS PREDICTION
THIS WEEK'S GAME IN HAIKU
Well, don't stop now boys
Sweep the state of Michigan
I want to see tears
VIDEO OF THE WEEK
#ThoughtsAndPrayers
#FOODPORN
Salted caramel chocolate-covered pretzel ice cream from Bobtail in Lakeview. This is the best place for ice cream in Chicago, and perhaps the entire world (obviously not being compared to Kopp's since ice cream most definitely does NOT equal custard). It's not rare to see a line out the door on a warm summer evening, as everyone within 2 miles knows you won't find anything more perfect. Salty ice cream and a cold glass of water, nothing better when it's 85 degrees out at 9 p.m.
#SKYPORN
I said that Saturday up at Lambeau was perfection ... well, a Saturday at Wrigley with Arrieta on the bump is pretty damn close to perfection itself. We will casually ignore the result of this game as the Cubs have run up 101 wins and counting. BRING ON OCTOBER
PREDICTION CITY
Even without Gags ... let the good times roll. The Hornibrook Express has nothing but open track in front of it. No stopping it now. More shocking of the world to come. Chryst forever. #AllInOnHornDawg. THE PICK:
WISCONSIN 21, Michigan 20, no field goals for UW because we #GoForIt
***
ON WISCONSIN
