Manchester United and Liverpool's sad declines to Europa League rivalry
Functional dysphagia is a swallowing disorder for which stress or anxiety can be the cause. For that anxiety -- and for dysphagia -- speech language therapy can be of great help. So repeat these words after me, and make peace with them:
Manchester United and Liverpool are squaring off in the Europa League on Thursday.
Manchester United and Liverpool are squaring off in the Europa League.
Manchester United. Liverpool. Europa League.
Back in 2008 when a United-Liverpool Champions League Final was thwarted by a point-blank Didier Drogba finish in the 105th minute of a seat-gripping semifinal between Chelsea and the Reds, you might not have even thought it possible for those words to appear next to each other together like that.
But here we are eight years later, and what a difference that much time makes. United are coming off of a hilarious 1-0 loss to West Brom in which Juan Mata, the world's nicest midfielder, was sent off on the softest and perhaps cutest of red cards. Liverpool were rescued at Selhurst Park by a late Christian Benteke penalty in a 2-1 win over Crystal Palace that actually felt kind of good, considering they haven't beaten Palace since the draw in 2014 that smashed their title hopes to itty bitty pieces.
The same fading glory dimly lights both Anfield and Old Trafford, so basically, as weird as it is, it makes sense that they're meeting here in the Round of 16 (Thursday, 3:00pm ET, FS2). And the Europa League may be the Kix cereal to the Champions League's Lucky Charms, but it's really the only thing either of these teams have left to play for. Winning the competition is the only way back into Europe next season for both teams.
The Reds currently sit at seventh place in the league with nine games left to play. The Red Devils sit just above them at sixth, three points back of a top four from which either Tottenham or Leicester City will probably emerge as a winner. In other words, this version of the Premier League is a veritable surrealist painting, and the season will end in a plastic participation trophy for both Liverpool and United.
I mean, United still have the FA Cup, but honestly, who cares.
But you know what? Let's appreciate the little things.
Liverpool will probably pull out of this spiraling nose dive first because they have Jurgen Klopp, who, on top of not being Louis van Gaal, has really cool hipster glasses and the faculty for forward-thinking going for him.
They'll probably win this first leg too, because United have beaten them in all three of their previous meetings this year and are due for an implosion.
But who really knows? Anything could happen when these two titans meet under the lights for a fourth time. On a Thursday. In the second knockout round of the Europa League.
