The first leg of Real Madrid vs. Manchester City really was that bad
Maybe you watched Real Madrid and Manchester City play the first leg of their Champions League semifinal on Tuesday. If so, sorry. It was super boring.
Neither team was good at passing. Or shooting. Or imagination. Or really trying anything.
The teams were good at defending. And tackling. And kicking the other team.
So if you missed the match and those are the things you like about soccer then you should definitely watch it. But if you have eyes, don't.
Us too.
The Merengues went to the Etihad originally looking for a draw. Cristiano Ronaldo was out injured and no one could blame them for thinking "drawing away without our best player isn't too bad," because they were right. A draw was good and they are happy with it.
The problem is the Citizens looked as content to tie. Even at home, they rarely sent players forward and Keylor Navas was kind of chilling all match. Losing David Silva to injury in the first 30 minutes didn't help, nor did Yaya Toure being out, but Sergio Aguero and Kevin De Bruyne are great. And we barely saw them. Defensive discipline and managing the pace of the match took precedence, attack neutering be damed.
Real Madrid weren't short on great players either. Gareth Bale, Karim Benzema and Luka Modric give them plenty of firepower, even if they had to deal with Toni Kroos mimicking a turnstile. Basically, it makes sense that Ronaldo and Toure's absences would hurt the teams, but they weren't supposed to turn the match into a turd.
For much of the match, whether Zinedine Zidane ripped his pants again was the most interesting storyline. He did. So we'll always have that glorious memory of a rich man who desperately needs a better tailor.
Despite very little action so far, Zidane has managed to split his trousers for a 2nd straight #UCL game. https://t.co/qB2JXRokz3
— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) April 26, 2016
That is what came from a Champions League semifinal between two of the world's richest teams, who have had no qualms about spending lavishly. Teams that often struggle to defend and, if anything, can be criticized for showing defensive negligence in the transfer market. They're the ones who put us all to sleep.
It took 54 minutes for the first shot on goal of the match. That came on a Sergio Ramos header right at Joe Hart.
That same Hart nearly had more touches in the match than Aguero. Because who needs to see one of the best strikers in the world run at defenders, shoot or even touch the ball when you can pass the ball back to the goalkeeper and watch Hart boot it.
To be fair, there were those few minutes when Hart decided he was the best player in the world. He had to kick away Casemiro's header off a corner kick and then make a point-blank save on Pepe. Those were cool things. Mainly they were things. There weren't a lot of things in this match.
But when those things ended, we were back to being bored.
Real Madrid just wanted to survive, and they did. They even had the best chances of the match. If only Manchester City could be as bizarrely happy.
The Citizens played not to concede an away goal, which they did, except that's a terrible approach. Winning at home is far more valuable than not conceding, especially for a team that struggles away from home. History shows it, with the team at home in the second leg advancing 20 times out of 29 in the Champions League after a 0-0 first leg draw. Sorry about this, City. You should be sad. Almost as sad as those of us who watched you.
So throw away the tape of this match. Light it on fire. Bury the ashes. Take a dump on its grave site. And let us never speak of those 90 minutes again. We have a second leg and it will be better. It has to be.
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