What if Zlatan Ibrahimovic went to the Chinese Super League?
Zlatan Ibrahimovic's contract with PSG is up after this season, and as of now he doesn't plan on being back at the Parc des Princes next year. There's a number of possible destinations; he could go the FIFA Manager On Amateur route and land at the Bernabeu, but his last stint in Spain playing target striker behind a global superstar didn't really pan out.
It's more likely he'll get in one Screw You season in the Premier League; perhaps with Arsenal, according to assorted British tabloids that are in the habit of reporting things that aren't necessarily 100% true. Or with Manchester United who seem to be reinventing themselves as Galacticos North. Or Chelsea or Manchester City since they get everything they want all of the time.
But what if he skipped right by all of that and went straight to China? The prevailing notion is that it's "too soon" for the 34-year-old because he's still yawning his way into heatrocks like this one:
ICYMI: See Nice defender try to cover his face. Then see why! @Ibra_official with an ABSOLUTE ROCKET. #Ligue1 https://t.co/yszLSDtBP4
— beIN SPORTS USA (@beINSPORTSUSA) April 2, 2016
But that implies that he has to have one foot in the glue factory before he can even consider it as an option.
The Chinese Super League gets a bum rap for collecting the dimming stars of the footballing world and shelving them like Hasbro figurines, but quiet as it's kept, it's much more than that. Regular Serie A starters are already being lured away from their clubs. There's also Ricardo Goulart, a promising young Brazilian maestro out of Cruzeiro who spurned Europe in favor of a move to Guangzhou Evergrande F.C., who, by the way, is coached by Luis Felipe Scolari.
It's not quite "there" yet, but Chinese soccer is on the rise.
They're on par with the MLS in terms of attendance and viewership but they're set on becoming the biggest non-European League in world soccer. There's a will for it to happen, and The Sun reports that the CFA was willing to put up $83 million to secure Ibrahimovic's services, which means they have buckets of money to throw at the problem.
So why not take a page out of the Stephon Marbury playbook and just go there to ball out during this transitional period? He can bag 100 more goals, win three out of the next four titles, and finally get that bronzed Ibrahimovic statue he's been angling for. Probably a museum too. Shoot, if he plays his cards right, he might even get to play himself in a self-titled musical about himself.
Plus, you know, $83 million.
Also, just imagine Zlatan doing touristy stuff around China. Lumbering around the Yu Garden, demanding to know why the roofs are shaped like that. Or flipping a Pai Sho table over in the park because who has that much time to waste on a board game. Going to Wuxi and not seeing what's so great about the Grand Buddha? It's reality show gold.
That one's for free, television executives.
