WWE had quite a task ahead of themselves in putting on the Showcase of the Immortals, WrestleMania 36, with no crowd and amid all of the uncertainty of our current times.
On night one, it was mission accomplished, and then some. Right, Undertaker?
Right! The matches were outstanding, the stories were riveting, and the action was top notch, with two title changes, a bonkers WrestleMania moment for Kevin Owens, and a cinematic masterpiece of a Boneyard Match between Undertaker and AJ Styles.
Add it all up, and it had us as excited as Montez Ford here:
"WRESTLEMANIA," indeed.
The first night started with the WrestleMania Kickoff show, where Drew Gulak and Cesaro put on a wrestling clinic to open the action, highlighted by Cesaro spinning Gulak around atop his shoulders with no hands.
You'll have to see it to believe it:
And that was just a taste to get this party started — a party hosted by our good friend, Rob Gronkowski.
When Saturday's broadcast began, Stephanie McMahon welcomed fans and shared WWE's hope that its Superstars could brighten our lives even if just a little bit in these chaotic times.
After an epic introduction with just the right dash of Jack Sparrow...
... the Kabuki Warriors started things off by defending their Women's Tag Team titles against Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross — only for Cross to run rampant after receiving a tag from Bliss:
Cross' frantic energy set up Bliss for a Twisted Bliss off the top rope, winning the tag titles for the two BFFs:
Following a check-in with Intercontinental Champion Sami Zayn, who's set to put his title on the line against Daniel Bryan later in the evening, Baron Corbin made his way to the ring for what he thought would be a forfeit victory.
But Elias, whom Corbin threw off a balcony on Friday night, was able to answer the bell and make a match of it against the King.
No, not that one.
With a handful of tights, Elias got the win, much to the pleasure of Gronk, who made the match in the first place.
Up next was a literal blood rivalry for the Raw Women's Championship:
It was a vicious match right from the opening moments:
Lynch was able to fend off Baszler and defend her title, although we have a feeling things aren't over between these two:
One good title defense deserved another, as Sami Zayn retained his Intercontinental Championship against Daniel Bryan. Zayn spent most of the fight either running away or at Bryan's mercy, but the champ caught the leader of the Yes! Movement with a Helluva Kick as Bryan came off the top rope to pick up the win:
WWE Backstage's Renee Young called it a match between two of the "top tier" of WWE talent, crediting Zayn and Bryan for tearing it down at WrestleMania:
The title matches continued from there, as the SmackDown Tag Titles were on the line in a triple threat ladder match between John Morrison, Jimmy Uso, and Kofi Kingston — but it was the latter's hair that stole the show early:
The match ended unlike any ladder match we've seen before. All three participants made their way to the top of the ladder and pulled the fixture holding the championships down, fighting over the whole apparatus.
Kofi and Jimmy reared back to hit Morrison with a double headbutt, but the force of the combined blow sent Morrison crashing onto a ladder with the belts in hand, claiming a win for himself and The Miz.
White gear was apparently the trend for the night, and arguably no one did it better than the Monday Night Messiah, Seth Rollins, in his match with Kevin Owens:
And credit to all of the Superstars performing at WrestleMania; even without a crowd around them, they beat the heck out of each other.
Rollins and Owens brought the savagery in spades, until Rollins hit Owens with the ring bell to seemingly end the match by disqualification:
But Owens wasn't happy with the DQ win, goading Rollins into restarting the match under No DQ rules, then taking things to a whole other level by jumping off the WrestleMania sign, crashing through Rollins and an announce table before picking up the win:
San Francisco 49ers George Kittle called it his favorite match of the night, saying that he still has faith in the Monday Night Messiah:
Once they cleaned up the carnage, it was time for two big sides of beef in our final championship match of the evening: Goldberg vs. Braun Strowman for the Universal Championship:
The match went about as you might have expected with these two powerhouses. Goldberg laid out Strowman with three consecutive spears then went for the pin, only for Braun to kick out. He reversed the tides, countering with several running power slams of his own to win the Universal Championship, his first heavyweight title in WWE.
Last but certainly not least was the Boneyard Match between the Undertaker and AJ Styles, which had a cinematic feel and featured the return of the American Badass version of Taker:
Styles started with jokes riffing off of the Undertaker's Dead Man persona, only for things to get very real for Allen very quickly:
Seriously, this match was SPECTACULAR:
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson showed up to interfere on Styles behalf, and they brought SUPERNATURAL BACKUP, YOU GUYS:
Eventually, though, Styles earned the upper hand, running Undertaker through a wooden fence, as one does:
Styles had Taker in the grave and climbed atop a tractor to bury the Deadman, but The Phenomenal One forgot a very important lesson: Undertaker was born in the occult.
He appeared behind Styles, looking more like his Deadman persona, and turned the tables on the former WWE Champion:
Taker chokeslammed Styled off the roof of a barn (we're pretty sure it was a barn), then dragged him to the site of the open grave in the boneyard, where Styles pleaded for forgiveness.
The Undertaker feigned forgiving The Phenomenal One, only to send him crashing into the grave before burying him alive in a classic sports entertainment outcome.
It was, in a word, art. And it was a fantastic way to end the first night of WrestleMania 36, which more than delivered on its promise to entertain fans of all stripes.
Thank you, WWE. We can't wait to see what's in store on night two.
